“My marriage has always been shaky. The day I got married, that was a beauty. Everybody was crying. During the ceremony, her mother cried. All the way to the hotel, my wife cried. She got undressed, I cried.” | Rodney Dangerfield
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“My marriage has always been shaky. The day I got married, that …
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“My wife and I, we never have sex. We get undressed, we can’t stop laughing.” | Rodney Dangerfield
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“Last week I found a guy’s wallet. Inside was a picture of my two kids.” 🎬: Opening Night at Rodney’s Place, 1989 | Rodney Dangerfield
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“Last week, I told my wife, ‘I need a home improvement loan.’ She gave me a thousand dollars to move out.” | Rodney Dangerfield
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“I tell ya, my wife isn’t too smart. One night, she went out, some guy stole the car. I said, ‘Did you see what he looked like?’ She told me she got the license plate number.” | Rodney Dangerfield
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“I tell ya, my wife isn’t too smart. One night, she went out, some gu…
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“The last time my wife drove the car, she cracked it up. Went into a tree. Told me it wasn't her fault, she blew the horn.” | Rodney Dangerfield
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“With my wife, we got nothing but arguments, and I can never get a word in. The other night I told her, ‘There’s another side to that argument.’ She said, ‘I know, my mother’s coming right over.’” | Rodney Dangerfield
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“What’s really annoying with my wife, the way she serves the meal…
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“My wife is dumb. You wanna know how dumb she is? It takes her an …
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“My wife, what a lousy cook. I mean, how can toast have bones?” | Rod…
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Rodney Dangerfield Has Carson Hysterically Laughing (1979)
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